It is one of the curses of dancing tango that you will find yourself misunderstood by all but a small collection of fellow tango fanatics. It is something that we tango dancers learn live with. Family members, colleagues, even very close friends, will ask well-meaning but totally misconceived questions.
And we canʼt blame them. We know that not everyone in the world will fall head over the heels with tango (although secretly we wonder why). And we know that tango - contrary to popular belief - is not a mainstream dance. Sure, youʼll find it in Hollywood and on Strictly but thatʼs not the real tango. Thatʼs a pantomime, a caricature of the real dance.
Then there is that rather unfortunate coincidence that it shares a name with ballroom tango, leading people to believe that the two dances must in some way resemble each other. Most tango dancers I know internally cringe to think that anyone they know think that this is what they dance every weekend!
Most people have no idea of what tango is really about. And although a lot of us want to shout out to the world how amazing tango is, in some ways we like it that way. We like tango - real tango that is - to be a little underground, like being part of a secret club.
So what is the truth about tango?
Tango is utterly beautiful to watch. You knew that. But did you also know that it is how tango feels (for you and your partner) that is just as - if not more - important?
Tango is not just about external appearances, but about an amazing connection between two people. A connection that simmers beneath the surface so that it is barely visible to anyone outside of the couple.
It is often said that tango has a lot in common with martial arts and tai chi in particular. There have been studies drawing parallels between tango and transcendental meditation.
Tango has a reputation for being a macho dance. And surely it is so: the man leads, the woman follows. Thereʼs no way round it. But did you know the lead is more about guidance, listening and communication, than giving orders? “Push” and “pull” are words you will not often hear in a tango class. “Invite”, “breathe”, “lift” are more commonplace.
And did you know the lead is all about making the follower feel AMAZING. That is the leaderʼs prime objective. What could be better than that?
SERIOUS AND SAD
Tango is always so serious. But is it really? There is another side to tango that is playful, upbeat and flirtatious. It is multi-faceted. Like a person, it doesnʼt have just one mood.
And even when itʼs mood becomes more brooding, it doesnʼt necessarily make you feel sad. There may be times tango makes you feel nostalgic or melancholic, but I find that this is in a cathartic kind of way, like watching a sad film.Most of the time, however, it does nothing of the sort. In fact, tango can take you away to another place, giving you an unparalleled feeling of escape, bliss and even at times euphoria. It is not uncommon to see a couple on the dance floor, gripped a close embrace, cheek to cheek, and each with a dreamy smile on their face.
Tango is like an onion: the more layers you peel off, the more you discover to enjoy. And one thingʼs for sure, youʼre never going to discover the truth about tango by reading a blog. Youʼre going to have to find out for yourself!
As a a Beginner told me just the other day, after his third or fourth class:
“Tangoʼs nothing like what I expected it to be. But itʼs so much better.”